Secrets Unraveling
by NightRaven789
Summary: Everyone thinks that the great Harry Potter as a perfect life, who would complain if they were the boy who lived but everything is not that simple. Harry has a secret and the only person who can help him is the only person who doesn't know how.
1. Everything Comes To An End

**Thank you to TheeStoryTeller for being the Beta for chapter one.**

Chapter-one, Everything Comes To An End

Harry had a routine he went by every day and nothing ever changed from it. He would wake up at five in the morning before any of the boys in his dorm even thought about such a thing. Throwing on a pair of sweats, Harry would make his way down to the Quidditch field to do a two-hour run before the rest of his day could begin.

After his run, he would make his way back to the castle, sneaking back into the dorms while everyone was still asleep and go for his morning shower. He flinched when the hot water hit his skin but Harry forced himself to stay under. After his shower, he would get dressed, putting on his usual thick sweater underneath his school uniform to hide how thin he actually was. Along with the sweater, Harry would also apply glamorous charms to fill out his cheek bones and make his eyes look like they weren't shucking in. The spell also filled out his hair, making it look thicker and fuller than what it was.

By the time he was done, the other boys would be waking up and getting ready for their day. It was then that Harry would go down to the main part of the dorms and wait for his friend, Ron, so they could walk down together along with Hermione, who was getting ready in the girl dorms.

Breakfast was easy for Harry. He would have one piece of toast with no butter and two glasses of water before he headed off to class with his friends.

When lunch came along, all Harry would have was three glasses of water and no food. If anybody asked, he would just say that he had a big breakfast and that he wasn't hungry.

It wasn't long after lunch before dinner would turn its ugly head on Harry. Dinner was always the hard part for him. Normally, he would just have a few prices of plain chicken with some vegetables. And that was only when Hermione left him alone which was never the case. Hermione would always try to make him eat more and he knew he could never say 'no'. So he would always give her a small smile and ate what she gave him only to say that he needed to go to the bathroom moments later…to get rid of it all.

After dinner, Harry would spend the rest of his night with Ron and Hermione like he always did before lights out.

Before bed, he would get ready with the rest of the boys in his dorm, waiting for them to all fall asleep. Once he heard them sleeping away, he would get up and start doing push-ups and pull ups on the hard wooden floor. He didn't really have a number that he went by he just did it until it hurt so much that he couldn't continue. Only then would he climb into bed and go to sleep with the rest of his dorm mates waiting to wake up the next morning and start his routine over again.

…

"Harry, you need to eat more than that. You must be hungry. Here, have some potatoes." Hermione said as she passed the bowl of potatoes over to Harry from across the table.

Harry looked up only to feel his stomach turn as he watched the butter drip off the potatoes onto the bowl, slowly making its way onto the table. But like always, Harry gave a small smile and took the bowl from Hermione, putting a few scoops of potatoes on his plate along with some gravy that Hermione passed him as well.

Harry scooped some potatoes up onto his fork and brought it up to his mouth, giving a small pause before he placed it in his mouth, taking a few gulps of water as he swallowed them. But he knew this wouldn't be enough for Hermione, so he abused his body once more, taking another bite.

…

Severus Snape was not one to miss much that went on about the school. He was well aware that the Potter boy had a problem. He could see through the charms and glamours that the boy had cast on himself. But he wasn't about to embarrass the boy for such a sensitive issue. For the longest, it seemed that he detested the boy, but that wasn't really the case. He cared for the boy in the same way he cared about his mother, Lily. He couldn't bear to see Lily in pain and it hurt him dearly to see her son suffering, knowing he could be doing something about it.

It was a difficult situation, but Snape had always been the tough love type. He was not one to be the caring and understanding professor, so he wasn't prepared to deal with Potter's issue, but he felt like he owed it to the boy. He didn't want to dump this on Dumbledore or Poppy, like he would usually do about a Gryffindor student. It was his job to help the boy. He promised Lily that he would look after Harry and he failed. Now, he would have to make it right.

Snape couldn't help put watch Harry struggle to eat his dinner. To anyone else it would look like nothing, perhaps Harry had a stomach ache and that's why he wasn't eating, but Snape knew it was something more, something much more. He had a hard time understanding why the Potter boy would do this to himself. He was Harry Potter, the boy who lived. He had friends, the support of the whole school—even the professors. Whatever this was, it was much deeper than Snape could ever comprehend.

…

Harry had suffered enough from Hermione feeding him the potatoes with gravy along with a few barbecue chicken wings, buttered biscuits, and a few scoops of ice cream. Harry couldn't help but think of how much of a pig he was being as he swallowed the last spoonful of ice cream, but he knew he didn't have a choice if he didn't want his friends to assume anything. He differently didn't want that.

"I have to go to the bathroom really quick. I'll be right back." Harry said with a smile as he made his way out of his seat and down the Great Hall to the doors, it wasn't until the doors where completely shut behind him before he broke into a run to the abandon girls' bathroom that Hermione showed him during his second year.

 _'_ _I need it out, I need it all out.'_ Harry thought to himself as his breathing became rapid and desperate. He could feel it. Every single bite he took, he could feel it inside of him and he couldn't take it. The thought of the food slowly dissolving in his stomach, no, he couldn't have that.

Harry quickly made his way into the bathroom and locked the stall door behind him before he dropped down on his knees and lifted the toilet seat. He took in a few deep breaths before he stuck his middle finger as far as it could go down his throat. He let out a few gags before all the food he had eaten in the Great Hall came up.

He took in a few sharp breaths after he was done and looked down into the toilet to see the food that he had just eaten. He also noticed a few spots of red, his blood. But Harry didn't care, as long as the food was out of him. But, to his dismay, it wasn't. He could still feel some left inside of him, making his stomach feel heavy once more.

He took in another deep breath as he tried again, sticking his finger down his throat, but all he could do was gag, making his eyes water. He needed the food out of him, he couldn't bear to have it in him. He slowly dipped his hand into the toilet and scooped out some of the vomit, placing it back into his mouth. That did the trick and Harry was able to bring up the rest of the food, along with a few more spots of blood.

…

Snape noticed that the boy left the great hall in a hurry, and the professor felt a bad feeling take over him for what Potter was about to do next.

"Excuse me, Headmaster." Snape said as he quickly got up and made his way out of the Great Hall only to see the boy turn the corner. It didn't take a genius to figure out where the boy was going. It was clear that he was making his way to a bathroom and there was only one bathroom safe enough to use without him having to worry about someone walking in on him.

Standing outside the stall, he flinched as he listened to the boy gag and release the food he had just seen him eat. Frozen, he didn't know what he should do. He never had to deal with this type of thing before with his Slytherins and it just seem out of place for him to be the one to comfort the boy. Surely it was Dumbledore that needed to be here or the boy's head of house—anyone but him.

…

Harry rest his head against the whim of the toilet for a few moments before he flushed the toilet. Slowly standing himself up, he held onto the stall wall as the room spun around. Harry took in a shaky breath as he unlocked the bathroom stall and exited, only to see his most hated professor, Snape.

Everything started to run though Harry mind, ' _Why was Snape in the bathroom? Did he follow me? How long has he been standing there'_ Harry thought, panicking in the inside, but he made sure not to let it show on his face as he walked over to the sink.

"Must have the flu or something." Harry mumbled as he turned on the water on and cupped his hand under the steady stream of water.

"…There are lots of students in this school, Mr. Potter. When one get sick you can be sure that ten more will follow by the end of the week." Snape said after he thought on how he wanted to play this out.

Harry brought the water up to his mouth, cleaning his mouth out before spitting out the water and turning the tap off. It usually didn't take him long to clean himself up, but he needed to buy himself some time.

"…Must be food poisoning then…" Harry said after a bit. He slowly turned and looked up at Snape, hoping the professor would buy his story.

"Food poisoning? Then, more students will be sick, don't you think Mr. Potter?" Snape ask in his same dark voice. "But if that was the case, you wouldn't need glamour charms to hide the fact that you got food poisoning, would you? Perhaps we should have a talk." Snape said as he looked down at Harry.

Harry could feel a lump in his throat start to form as he felt his heart beating rapidly. ' _Oh god he knows…How much does he know?_ ' He can't know _everything_. That would be impossible, but even if he doesn't know he will. And once Snape did know everything, then Dumbledore would know and it wouldn't take long until everyone in the school found out…. That Harry Potter, the boy who lived, was weak, worthless, and a pig.

Harry did his best to steady his breathing, watching Snape open the bathroom door. He tried even harder when Snape singled for him to leave first. He just gave a small nod as he walked through the door, allowing Snape to lead him though the dungeons and knowing that he didn't have any other choice in the matter. He was led through the back of the potions classroom to Snape's office. He was directed to the chair in front of the professor's desk.

He watched as Snape sat behind his desk, tucking some papers he left out in the drawers of his desk.

"I would offer you tea, but the way you are going I doubt you will take it…" Snape said as he looked up at Harry, folding his hands onto of his desk. "Would you like to explain to me what is happening?" He asked, giving Harry a chance to explain what he was doing and why he was doing it.

It took harry a few seconds to speak up, his brain running a hundred miles a second, trying to think on what he should say—or shouldn't say. Something that would be able to get him out of this.

"I…I don't know what you are taking about." Harry said, stuttering a little as he lied.

"Don't take me as a fool, Mr. Potter." Snape said as he leaned forward on his desk. "The other professors may not have noticed, but I have. You have a problem, and to make matters worse, you are aware of this problem, trying to hide it from everyone else.

Harry moved his eyes around the office unable to look at Snape. He nervously picked at the skin around his nails.

Snape stayed quiet and watched Harry fidget with his fingers. He waited for him to say something but after a few minutes it became clear that he wasn't. "Perhaps we should head down to the hospital wing." Snape said with a sigh.

Harry's breath hitched at the words "hospital wing." He couldn't help the tears that fell down his cheeks

"…No…no… please no… no." Harry said as his breathing strayed away from its usual pattern.

"Mr. Potter…Harry." Snape said, using the boys first name. "We can go back to my chambers if you like and I can call Madam Pomfrey to come to us instead of the hospital wing. It's your

choice but you are going to be looked at by Madam Pomfrey." Snape made clear. He waited for Harry to make his decision.

Harry took a few deep breaths as he thought about the two choices he was given. He could ether go to the hospital wing, one of his most hated rooms in the school, or go with Professor Snape, one of his most hated professors. Neither one sounded pleasing.

He brought his hand up and started to chew on his fingernails as he thought about what to do. What was the lesser of the two evils?

"I…I take…your chamber…sir…please." Harry mumbled as he looked down at the ground, unable to meet Snape's eyes.

"Alright…" Snape said with a small nod as he made his way out of his chair and to his office door and opened the door. "Whenever you're ready." Snape said giving Harry the time to get a grip on everything that was happening.

 **Notes**

 **I hope all of you enjoyed this story and please let me know if you would like more :)**


	2. All is Seen but Nothing is Heard

**Thank you to TheeStoryTeller for being the Beta for chapter two.**

Chapter two-All is Seen but Nothing is Heard

Harry slowly made his way down to the dungeons, pulling his robe closer to himself as the cold nipped at his skin. He so badly wanted to turn the other way and run, but he knew it was too late. He was found out. He still wondered if he could fix this, to come up with some lie that Snape would believe.

It wasn't long until Harry found himself in front of the dreaded doors that lead to Snape's chambers. 'oproštaj' He heard his professor say as the chamber's doors opened and he slowly walked inside, being led into the living room.

Snape's chambers wasn't what Harry had excepted. Professor Snape was known to be the greasy dungeon bat of the school and one would have excepted his chambers to be dark, perhaps a little green to show that he was in Slytherin house, but it wasn't. His chambers were warm, calming. He had dark red leather chairs with a gold trim that faced a large fireplace. A dark brown coffee table, which also had a gold trim to match the chairs, sat in between the two chairs. If Harry didn't know any better, he would say that the chambers looked like a Gryffindor lived there.

Books covered the walls. _'Potions.'_ Harry thought as Snape led him over to one of the chairs and sat him down.

Snape flicked his wand to start a fire, warming his chambers up for Harry.

"Relax. I'll go and call Madam Pomfrey." Snape said as he made his way to what Harry presumed was the kitchen.

Harry kept himself busying, looking around Snape's Chambers. There was a long hallway that more than likely led to the bedrooms and bathroom. A closed door stood between two bookcases in the living room and it was clear that the door led to some kind of potions lab. At least that's what the smell coming from the door appeared it to be. Harry's eyes slowly made their way to the fire and he watched the flames dance and intertwine with each other. He didn't even realize when Madam Pomfrey entered the chambers and headed to the kitchen.

Snape told Poppy everything that she needed to know before leading her to his living room, where Harry was still entranced with the dancing fire.

"…Harry? Harry?" Poppy said as she got in front of him, making sure that she got his attention before she spoke again. "Harry, Im going to run a diagnostic spell, alright?"

Harry came back to reality, shaking his head furiously in protest, tears running down his face. This was it, once that spell was cast, there was no hiding it. No lie he could tell to fix it. His secret would be out for everyone to see.

"No…please don't." Harry said holding back, with the best of his ability, the tears that were daring to escape. He brought his hands up to cover his face from the embarrassment. "Just give me detention or something, I will clean out the cauldrons after class or something…anything." He sounded desperate, saying anything to get out of his Professor's chambers and away from the school nurse.

"Harry, look at me please." Snape said as he kneeled down in front of Harry so he would feel like he wasn't being talked down to.

It took Harry a few seconds before he slowly lowered his hands to come face to face with his Professor.

"This isn't a punishment. We just need to see what's wrong, so we can help you." Snape said, hoping that Harry would see reason. But as a back-up plan, he waved behind his back, signaling for Poppy to get one of his Calming Potions.

"Yes, it is" Harry cried, hiding his face back behind his hands. "You're punishing me….You don't understand…" They young boy felt that Snape and Madam Pomfrey were ganging up on him, not understanding why he needed to do this…or why they needed to do this.

Snape let out a small sigh, seeing that Harry was panicking once more. He felt Poppy place the calming potion in his hand.

"Harry" Snape said calmly as he brought his hand up and lowered Harry's hands from his face. "I need you to drink this for me." The small potion shined in the firelight, and Snape hoped he wouldn't have to force the potion down his throat.

Harry looked at the small vail of yellow potion, shaking his head once more. His breathing became rapid, and he couldn't help holding his stomach as he imagined the yellow liquid slowly making its way into his body.

"Harry, listen to me. It's just like water, no calories" Snape said, watching the action closely. He wasn't actually sure if that was the truth. He never thought—or had to-check on how many calories were in a potion. it just wasn't something that crossed his mind.

"Harry, it would be much better if you take the potion." Snape added as she pushed the potion forward, hoping that Harry would take it. He wasn't trying to upset the boy any more than he already was, but he was losing his patience trying.

Harry was relieved to hear that there were no calories floating around in the potion. Though he was relieved, he found himself still not wanting to drink it. But he could see the patience leaving Snape's face and he knew now he definitely wouldn't be able to get out of this. So with a shaky hand he reached for the potion, took the cork out, and downed it in one gulp. He coughed a little at the taste of it, trying not to think how it was not traveling to his stomach.

Seconds later, Harry felt his eyes slowly close, and his cries subsided. Snape reached out his hands and helped guide Harry's body down onto the couch so that he could lay down.

"Was the potion supposed to put him to sleep?" Poppy ask, not expecting the potion to affect him so fast.

"No, but I suspect that Harry hasn't been getting enough sleep. A good rest will do him well. You can perform the spell now." Snape said as he stood up and took a step back to let Poppy do her magic.

Poppy gave a small nod as she waved her wand and a bright yellow light surrounded Harry. A piece of paper and quill appeared in the air and started to write. It was a good five minutes before the yellow light that surrounded Harry faded, the quill disappearing as well—only leaving the paper behind. Poppy sighed, taking the paper and looking through the results of the test.

"Well,?" Snape ask unable to take the silence for much longer.

"In my medical opinion, it looks like bulimia." Poppy said as she handed the paper off to Snape. The professor took it quickly, his eyes scanning over the results.

 **Medical scan- Harry James Potter- May 2, 1996**

 **Age- 16**

 **Height 173.4 cm**

 **Weight 79.2 lb ( Underweight)**

 **SKELETAL DAMAGE**

 **tooth decay**

 **MUSULAR DAMAGE**

 **Throat swelling**

 **ORGAN DAMAGE**

 **poor eyesight-born with**

 **Irregular heart rhythms**

 **Rupture esophagus**

 **Intestine damage**

 **Dry skin**

 **EXTERNAL DAMAGE**

 **Scarred hand**

 **Intolerance to cold**

 **Low blood pressure**

 **Abnormal blood counts**

 **Dizziness**

 **Thinning hair**

 **Brittle nails**

 **SUMMARY**

 **Complete recovery can be assured**

 **Scan performed by: Madam Poppy Pomfrey**

 **Med-witch at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

 **Scan verified by: Professor Severus Snape**

 **Master of Potions at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Snape read it again, going over each section again and again, making sure he didn't miss anything. "What do we do now…or what do you do?" This situation made him even more uncomfortable, now that they knew what was wrong. Him not being a healer himself, he wasn't entirely sure what to do. And it looked as if Madam Pomfrey didn't either.

"Have you told Albus?" Poppy asked as she looked over at Harry, who haven't moved an inch since he was given the potion.

"No, I thought it would be better to get all the details first before I went to him about this." Snape said as he followed her line of sight to the sleeping Harry.

Poppy gave a small nod, pondering on what they should do.

"Normally, we would write home to the parents or guardians of the child but I don't believe that is a choice here. There's St. Mungo's, but with Harry being who he is that won't be an option either. Perhaps you should go and inform Albus…he may know what to do." Poppy said as she took the blanket that was hanging off the couch and draped it over Harry. Both of them noticed he was starting to shiver from the coldness of the dungeon.

Snape understood why they couldn't alert Harry's aunt and uncle about his condition. He had grown up with Lily Potter and her sister, and knew how much her sister began to despise her once she found out Lily was a witch and she wasn't. He knew that Harry Potter never fancied going home for the summer, finding every opportunity to spend his days in the Wizarding World rather than at the Dursleys. But he had been so used to being able to write a letter to the parents, and letting them decide what should be done with their child.

"Why don't you send a Patronus to Albus? Tell him to come to my chambers while I put Harry down in the guest room." Snape said as he picked Harry up along with the blanket and made his way down the hall to the guest room. Snape wasn't a weak man but he was still surprise at how easy he was able to lift Harry up and carry him.

A few tears rolled down Poppy's face once Snape left. She cared deeply for the boy more than any other student she cared for in her hospital wing. He was always in the hospital wing—every year something different. A crazy adventure with Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, or some Quidditch incident with Oliver Wood. And it hurt her that she didn't know what to do for him now. She was a nurse-trained to look out for the warning signs but she saw nothing with Harry. To her Harry was still the happy little boy he was when he first came to Hogwarts.

She wiped her tears with her sleeve, casting a Patronus to send to Albus. She also called one of the school elves, Winky, that helped her out in the hospital wing. She ordered the elf to bring her some tea, knowing that this would be a long night.

…

Albus sat in one of the chairs, sipping his cup of tea as he looked at the two that sat across from him. "So…what is this all about?" He asked, setting his tea on the coffee table.

Snape opened his mouth to tell Albus the story but then looked over at Poppy, not sure where he should begin.

"Well, you see." Poppy began "Snape noticed that Harry was acting odd at dinner and followed him out into one of the bathrooms. He brought him back to his chambers and called me to do a scan." Snape noticed she skipped over some parts. "I did the scan just like Severus asked."

Poppy handed Albus the paper with Harrys scan printed on it. "It seems like Harry is suffering from an eating disorder called Bulimia." Snape almost flinched. Hearing the word meant that this was actually happening.

Dumbledore read over the scan, the twinkle in his eyes slowly leaving as he went on. Poppy's words ringing in his ears as he took in the information.

"You sure?" Dumbledore asked as he looked up from the scan.

"I did the scan myself, there's no mistake…I'm sorry, Albus" Poppy said with a frown knowing that Albus thought of Harry as a son.

"What would have caused his scared finger?" Albus ask as he looked back down at the scan.

"…Teeth. His teeth would cut into his fingers when he… when he vomits." Poppy explained.

Albus gave a small nod, still not knowing what to say. He couldn't help but feel like he failed the boy. All these years, he had been trying to protect the boy from Voldemort but, he never thought to protect Harry from himself.

"Harry is extremely underweight…" Poppy went on. "I would like to place a feeding tube…."

"No" Snape interrupted Poppy.

"Severus, the boy needs nutrients and fast." Poppy argued.

"The last thing Harry needs is to wake up with a feeding tube shoved down his throat. At least allow him to wake up first. At least allow me to try and get him to eat something we do…that."

"Albus…" She started, but Dumbledore's hand went up into the air, telling her to be quiet for a minute.

"I agree with Severus, but we cannot ignore Harry's condition and the attention it needs. I will give you a day to help him—to see if he will eat." Dumbledore said as he looked over at Snape. "But if you cannot, I will allow Poppy to do what she believes is necessary."

Neither Severus or Poppy liked this arrangement, but at least Dumbledore found a compromise between their different opinions. Snape hoped that the situation wouldn't resort to a feeding tube down Harry's throat, while Madam Pomfrey hoped that Snape would give her a chance to be the nurse she had been trained to be.

"Poppy, why don't you check on Harry? Make sure he's settled in." Dumbledore said, giving the nurse a small smile. "I would like to have a word with Severus."

Poppy returned the smile as she headed to the guest room, but wondered what Dumbledore and Snape had to talk about.

…

"I couldn't help but notice that you were calling Harry by his first name instead of his last." Dumbledore said. Snape gave him a confused look. He was sure the wizard was going to ask him why Harry was staying in his guest room, instead of resting in the hospital wing with the other students. He answer wasn't that convincing, however. Who would believe that Snape took Harry Potter to his personal chambers because the boy told him he "didn't like the hospital wing"?

Snape paused for a moment, he didn't even realize he was calling the boy by his first name. "It doesn't mean anything" Snape said trying to deny that he actually cared for the boy.

"Really? Is that why he's in your chambers, then? No student has been allowed in your chambers not even your Slytherins. I understand that you see Harry as his father but did you ever stop and wonder that perhaps Harry is more like his mother, Lily? There had to be reason why you followed Harry to the bathroom. Deep down you care for the boy." Dumbledore said, seeing a light go off behind Severus eyes as he spoke.

"…Do you mind staying with Harry for a bit? I doubt that he will wake up so soon after the potion but just in case." Snape ask as he headed for the door.

"Of course my boy, but where are you going?" Dumbledore ask confused on what Snape was thinking.

"To talk to a ghost" Was all Snape said as he made his way out of his champers.

 **Thank you to all and I hope you enjoy this chapter.**


	3. Reality is Crashing Down

**Thank you to TheeStoryTeller for being the Beta for chapter two.**

Chapter-Thee, Reality is Crashing Down

Snape made his way down the hall. He needed to get away - he needed to breath. He didn't understand why he felt the way he did. He had been a professor for many years and dealt with many students. Those who suffered from self-harm, those who were suicidal (and those who were homicidal), and even first years who were homesick. And with those students, he had always been able to keep himself distant emotionally, but he was finding it impossible with Harry.

His feelings for Lily were clouding his judgement. He knew that Poppy was right about the feeding tube, but he couldn't bring himself to allow her to do it. Not when he had a chance to save Harry himself.

He made his way into the abandon bathroom where he found Harry. He looked at the rusted hinges on the stall doors and the rusted taps on the sink, the effects of the lack of usage. Dust covered the floor and the sinks - except for the sink that Harry been using. Any other time, Snape could walk in the bathroom with no problem, scowling at whatever student who decided to cause trouble in here. But, due to recent events, he felt uncomfortable being in here once more.

"Myrtle?" Snape called out, but only to be returned with silence. He let out a sigh as he tried again. Nothing.

"…Elizabeth." Snape called out, this time using the girl's first name. He was glad he had done so, as he heard something moving around in the nearest stall.

The girl that was known as Moaning Myrtle revealed herself, donning a face of surprise from being called by her first name. She poked her head out of the stall, her eyes meeting the ones of Professor Snape. Her eyes then turned into slits, knowing that the professor only came in here to fuss at students. But seeing as there was no one in here but her, she needed to know why he was here. Or a better question—what did he want?

"That's your name, right? Elizabeth?" Snape asked as he stepped forward.

"Yes." She floated a few steps forward. She smiled wickedly as Snape took a few steps back as well. "What do you want? This is the girls' bathroom…get out." Myrtle snapped.

"I know you don't like anyone in here, but I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you about Harry Potter." Snape said. He saw the girl tense at the name, giving him more reason to press on. "I need to know how long he has been coming here."

Myrtle's eyes went from thin slits to wide orbs. She floated as if she had been petrified, not knowing what she should tell Snape. People only came into her bathroom to keep secrets—secrets that she promised to keep. And with that, she turned to leave.

"Wait! I've heard you joke about Harry sharing your toilet once he dies, but I'm sure you don't mean it. Do you? Because that will happen if you don't talk to me. I'm trying to help him."

"You can't help him, no one can." Myrtle said softly, sniffling.

"Why not?" Snape asked, afraid that he was already too late. That he couldn't help Lily's son. "I want to help him but, I can't do that without you. I know you care about Harry. I know you don't want to betray his trust, but this is the only way. We can help him, Elizabeth."

The ghost tensed once more at the sound of her first name. However, she let out a sigh, and told Snape what he wanted.

"Harry came a few times two years ago, and then more last year. But this year…he's come every day."

 _Over a year?_ _All of this been happening for over a year_. Snape thought to himself.

He was unable to believe that he couldn't see it until now. Why couldn't he see the glamorous until now?

"Why didn't you tell anyone? You must have known that this wasn't right, that he was sick." Snape asked, making sure to use a calm voice so he didn't scare Myrtle off.

"I can't leave this bathroom." Myrtle mumbled as she looked down at the ground. Snape then remembered that the girl was bound to the bathroom due to the details of her death. The girl must have realized that he knew, and floated away back into her stall, sniffling all the same.

Snape frowned once Myrtle left. She was before his time at Hogwarts but he heard stories about her. How she was always mean and rude. Only allowing a few students come into her bathroom, while flooding the room to get rid of the rest. But deep down, she was hurt and shattered. The negative effects of dying young.

"Thank you Elizabeth. You've helped me a lot. Sorry I bothered you." Snape called out to the empty space before he made his way out of the bathroom and back to his chambers. He took his time, not wanting to face reality just yet.

…

Finally returning to his Chambers, Snape thanked Dumbledore and wished him goodnight. Dumbledore wasted no time to remind the professor that he had one day to get Harry to eat. Snape nodded, checking on Harry as soon as Dumbledore left. Poppy had taken his glamour charms off—a precaution so the boy wouldn't use all his energy. But a part of Snape wish she hadn't, because now Harry was exposed for how sick he really was. His thinning hair laid across his face, his cheeks were sunken in, and his eyes had black circles under them. It was definitely apparent that Harry hadn't been sleeping.

Even through his thick pyjamas, one could still see how thin he was. The pyjamas were falling off his body, exposing his rib cage. There was even a light tinged of blue that surrounded his finger nails.

Snape noticed Harry's suitcase laying in the corner. _Dumbledore._ Snape thought to himself. It was like the old wizard to make drastic moves like this—but did he actually think Harry was fit to move in with him. Snape didn't even know if he was ready to have someone move in with him? Especially not Harry Potter, despite the growing feelings he had for him.

"What are you doing to me?" Snape mumbled to himself as he moved back to Harry, pulling the blankets up so Harry was covered. "Trouble just seems to find you, doesn't it?"

He took Harry's wand off the bedside table and slipped it into his pocket. He knew that Harry wouldn't be happy when he woke up to find it missing, but Snape wanted to ensure that the boy didn't wake up and try something dangerous. He knew how rash Harry was with his magic, remembering the spell the boy used against him during his third year. Snape then cast a spell that would alert him when Harry woke up.

He picked up the medical scan from earlier and retreated to his potions lab. He locked Harry's wand in one of his drawers, pouring himself a glass of Firewhiskey.

Snape didn't notice how much time passed by as he sat in his desk, enjoying another glass of Firewhiskey. He thought about his conversation with Myrtle, he read over the medical scan hundreds of times—looking for some big solution to help Harry. But also hoping that he would read something different. He thought about the famous quote from Albert Einstein, one of his favourite muggle inventors.

 _'_ _Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results'_

Perhaps he was going crazy. He already felt like he was going insane when he went out his way to help Harry Potter. But now…

He crumpled up the scan, throwing it across the room.

It was hitting nine o'clock when the charm that Snape set went off, causing a ringing to go off in his ears. He didn't get up right away, still going over what he was going to say to Harry in his head. When he couldn't think of anything, he decided that he would have to tell the boy the truth—and handle the rest later.

Snape slowly got up from his chair, letting out a small moan. He had been sitting in the chair for so long, his bones cracked as he stood up.

….

Harry woke up, not recognizing the strange place he had just slept in. He remembered being in Snape's quarters, taking a potion that the professor claimed would calm him down. Observing the room some more, he assumed that he was still in Snape's quarters, just in another room.

He noticed that his school trunk was in the room _'They don't expect me to stay here, do they?'_ Harry thought. He also noticed that the pyjamas he had on were sliding off his body, which meant that his glamour charms had been taken away. He quickly grabbed the blanket, trying to cover every part of his body.

He quickly got off the bed and made his way to his trunk, digging through it until he found an oversized sweatshirt that used to belong to Dudley. He quickly pulled it over his head and over his pajama shirt, stretching the shirt out so it didn't get crumbled under the sweatshirt. He made his way back into bed and under the blankets before he pulled the hood up and tucked his hand within the sleeves of the sweatshirt.

Now completely covered, Harry sighed in relief. But that feeling didn't stay long as he heard a knock on his door. The knob twisted and the owner of the knock walked in—Professor Snape

"Good evening Harry. I expect you slept well?" Snape said taking quick notice of the sweatshirt, "Are you cold?" Snape asked as he sat down at the end of the bed, not knowing on where he should put his hand.

"…A little, I guess." Harry mumbled as he looked down at the blankets that now covered his lap.

"Snape gave a small nod. "I'll tell the house elves to turn up the temperature in my chambers for you but in the meantime we need to have a talk."

Harry didn't say anything or make any mention to indicate that he heard what Snape said. "…Why is my trunk here?" He asked, still not looking up from the blanket.

"It has been decided that you will be staying with me for the time being. For how long I do not know. I will also be holding onto your wand during your stay-"

"You can't do that." Harry interrupted finally, turning his head to look at Snape. Snape noticed a fire in his eyes. He knew Dumbledore had crossed a line, and know Snape had to deal with the consequences. "You can't keep me here and you can't take my wand! I want to go back to my dorm!" Harry said his voice getting louder as he spoke.

"We want many things Harry but…"

"Stop calling me that!" Harry snapped. "We aren't friends! We barely like each other! You can't call me Potter and switch to Harry like these past five years never happened!"

Harry wanted to stop but he couldn't. He wasn't even mad at Snape. He was mad about the whole situation. Allowing himself to get caught. Having Madam Pomfrey, Snape, and Dumbledore to see him for his true self. Submitting himself and Snape's chambers at the promise that he would eat again. This was what he wanted to avoid.

"..H…I know that you are upset and it's all right to be but we need to talk." Snape said, trying to hold back his temper..

"I don't want to talk to you!" Harry screamed "I don't want to talk to anyone! I want my wand and I want to leave! I don't want your help! I've never needed your help!"

"Then go!" Snape snapped back, finally losing it. "No one else has been willing to help you, not even the ghost whose bathroom you have been throwing up in!"

Harry went silent, and Snape knew he hit a nerve. Despite his feelings for Lily, Harry needed to accept his help, whether he wanted it or not.

"You may not want help, but you are still gonna get it. I will leave you here to process all of this, but you won't be leaving. The doors and windows have alarms…" He said, casting an eye at the troublemaking teen. "I will check on you in the morning…Potter." He said venomously.

He closed the door, hearing a loud _thump_. Harry had thrown something, maybe a pillow, at the door. He listened to the boy scream and shout, throwing any and everything he could find against the door. Snape listened to it all, even when the screams turned to cries—the cries turning to silence. And once they did, Snape made sure the boy had fallen asleep before heading to bed himself. He needed to be well-rested for the war that awaited him in the morning


	4. A Prison Within a Home

**Thank you to TheeStoryTeller for being the Beta for chapter four.**

Chapter four-A Prison Within a Home

Snape did his best to sleep that night, but he couldn't get his brain to settle down. He couldn't stop thinking about Harry and what he was going to do. He couldn't help but think about Lily and how disappointed she would be. He promised her that he would look after Harry, make sure that he was well cared for and safe. And he failed. He failed the woman that he loved and he didn't know how to make it up to her. He couldn't stop blaming himself. He should have seen it sooner…he should have seen the signs.

It was hitting midnight when Snape finally gave up on sleep and decided to do some of his own research on eating disorders, but what he found only made him more worried. There were many reasons why someone would develop an eating disorder, whether it was the social pressure to be thin along with the need to be perfect, problems with coping and dealing with stress, bullying and having few to no friends, or being a victim to abuse or trauma.

His research also pointed out that people who play sports, especially those that put a lot of emphasis on weight and size, were also at risk for developing an eating disorder. Though the sport activities he saw were mainly muggle activities, he assumed that Quidditch fit the bill. He knew that Quidditch players, mainly Seekers, were expected to be thin and small—the smaller the Seeker, the faster you could be. But that couldn't be the reason Harry was in such a terrible situation.

If Snape had to guess, he believed that Harry was having a bit of control issues. Ever since that fateful Halloween night, Harry's life had been decided for him. That he would be the one to defeat the Dark Lord. And along with that, Snape had to assume that the trauma Harry had been experiencing had something to do with it as well. When Harry was a first-year student, he watched a man burn and crumble to his death at his touch. During his second year, he had to face a Basilisk while trying to defeat the sixteen-year-old ghost of Lord Voldemort. During his third year, he endured what was similar to the Dementor's Kiss, having to listen to his mother and father's screams with it. And if that wasn't enough, Harry witnessed Cedric Diggory's untimely death and the rise of the Dark Lord in his fourth year _and_ the death of his Godfather Sirius Black in his fifth year.

Snape let out a long breath as he realized it was early in the morning. He let out a small moan as he got up and made his way to the kitchen. He checked the time. He had until this evening to get Harry to eat and he still didn't know how it would go. For the past week he watched Harry at meals, noticing that the only thing the boy would eat was dried toast and water. So he decide to go with that as he placed some bread into the oven on low heat. Snape also turned on the stove, beginning to make some scrambled eggs. He knew that Harry needed to eat something else than just toast. He also cooked some bacon, knowing that Harry wouldn't even glance at it, but he thought it would be best to give the boy some options.

Snape spent the next twenty minutes fighting with himself on if he should, or shouldn't, slip a nutrient potion in the scramble eggs. He decided to go with the potion, since he doubted that Harry would eat enough. He mixed the potion in the eggs, hoping that the eggs would mask the flavor of the potion.

…

It was early in the morning when Harry woke up, covered in sweat due to one of his many nightmares, this one being of Sirius. He brought his sleeve up as he clean the tears off his face as he looked out the window seeing that the sun was just coming out for the day.

He slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed as he sat up and made his way over to his trunk annoying the mess he made last night. He bent down and started to dig to the bottom of his trunk pulling out the shared of glass that was Sirius before he made his way back to bed, pulling the blankets over his head as he stared into the piece of glass.

'It was all my fault, why didn't I listen.' Harry thought to himself ' He's dead because of me, because I couldn't listen, because I had to go and save him only for it to turn out to be a sick trick that Voldemort planed. He's dead because I didn't listen' Harry thought to himself as he held the shared of glass close to himself.

Harry spent the next hours thinking of Sirius and what life could have been if he was still alive his mind slowly going over to Cedric and how it was his fault that he died, as he slowly made his way over to his parents thinking that life would have been better if he was never born. That was the reason that everyone was dead, everyone was dead because he's the boy who lived, the boy who lived to watch everyone die.

…

Harry quickly shoved the shard of glass under his pillow once he heard someone knock on his door. He pulled the blankets down off his head and brought his sleeve up to wipe his eyes one last time before the door opened. He then saw Snape holding a tray of food.

"Good morning Potter. I hope you slept well… you have quite the mess to clean up." Snape said as he looked at the mess that Harry made last night.

"I'm not hungry." Harry mumbled as he turned over, his back facing Snape. "Go away." He added.

"You may not be hungry but you are still going to eat. It's the same that you always have in the morning. Toast with water. I also put some eggs on the plate as well." Snape said as he set the tray down at the end of the bed. He returned to fallen over nightstand to its right place, setting the breakfast tray there.

"And bacon." Harry said, smelling it off the plate. "But like I said, I'm not hungry."

"Alright." Snape said as he took the blankets off of Harry, throwing them down to the floor. He didn't sleep at all last night so his patience was almost non-existent.

"Hey!" Harry yelled as he sat up.

"Listen up Potter, I have until this evening to get you to eat. Do you want to guess what will happen if you don't?" Snape ask as he folded his arms.

"You're going to give me detention?" Harry mumbled as he rolled his eyes bit.

"Don't be smart." Snape snapped. "Poppy will make her way into this room and shove a tube down your nose and down your throat until it makes its way to your stomach so we can pump food into you. And the best thing about it is that you won't be able to vomit it back up." He said as he leaned over Harry.

"You can't do that. Dumbledore…"

"Professor Dumbledore already knows all about it. In fact he's, the one that gave me this ultimatum to get you to eat or he will allow Poppy to do it. And believe me, I will love nothing more than to hold you down as Poppy slides that tube down your throat. Now _choose_. Are you going to eat or should I make that call to Poppy?" Snape asked, hoping that Harry couldn't see though his bluff.

Harry took in a few deep breaths as he controlled his anger. The last thing he wanted was to have Madam Pomfrey place a feeding tube down his throat and since there was no way out of it he gave Snape a small nod. "…I take the food." He mumbled not even looking up at Snape.

"Good." Snape said as he took the tray off the nightstand and laid it across Harry's lap. "You don't need to eat all it, but I do want you to eat a fair amount." He said as he took a step back. He couldn't leave—his research had also started that those with eating disorders had a habit of hiding their food, to portray to others that they have eaten. And he didn't have time for mice running through his chambers because of Harry Potter.

Harry picked his fork up and pushed his food around a little. He watched Snape pick up the chair that was in the corner of the room and sit down. ' _Shit'_ Harry thought to himself as he continued to push the food around.

After a few minutes Harry stabbed a few of his eggs and brought them up to his mouth, making sure he counted to thirty before he swallowed. He always had to make sure he did thirty chews before swallowed.

At first he thought that the eggs were a few days off their due date but he wasn't going to say anything as he continue to chew. Around the twentieth chew Harry mind snapped into action as he figured out that Snape put something in his eggs.

 _'_ _Oh god, oh god, OH GOD'_ Harry said over and over again in his mind as he quickly spat them back out onto the plate. "You put something in it!" Harry yelled as he grabbed the napkin from the plate and clean out his mouth.

"No I didn't." Snape said, surprised that Harry could taste the potion.

"Don't lie to me!" Harry yelled as he continued to clean his mouth out.

Snape let out a sigh. If he was going to get Harry to trust him, he had to tell Harry the truth. But he felt that he had already broken that non-existent trust by pulling this stunt. How could he be

so stupid?

"It was just a nutrient potion to help…"

"You asshole!" Harry screamed.

"Watch your language - forty points from Gryffindor!" Snape spat back.

"Are you kidding me?! I don't give a shit about house points and I'm not eating this poison." He then took his arm and swiped all the food that was on the tray onto the floor.

"Trust me Potter if I were to poison you, I would have done it a lot sooner and a lot more slowly and painfully." Snape said as he stood up and waved his wand making the food clean itself up, placing itself back on the tray. "Just so I could enjoy it longer." He added as he picked up the tray and placed it back on the table. "Should I call Poppy and let her know you made your decision?"

"Bite me" Harry shot back. He didn't care anymore. He just wanted to be left alone. "You can't keep me here like some sort of prisoner."

"You are free to walk around my chambers. You don't have to stay in your room." Snape said.

"I want to leave."

"Well Potter, in that way I guess you are a prisoner. If you like, I can make this room a cell. Have your bed and clothes taken away, along with your personal items. I can also get some dementors to surround your room. Would that make you more comfortable?" Snape said as he left the room.

Just as last night, Harry let out a scream as the door closed. He threw himself onto the bed, muffling his scream with a pillow. He continued his tantrum, kicking his legs into the bed, not caring about what he damaged. He was frustrated. With Snape, With Madam Pomfrey, With Dumbledore, With himself. He just wanted to be left alone. He just wanted to get out.

…

Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione made their way though the halls and up to Dumbledore's office. They had spent the whole morning looking for Harry - checking the Quidditch field, the library, and the hospital wing but they couldn't find him anywhere. They were starting to get very worried.

"Come in." Dumbledore said, knowing exactly who was visiting him. He knew it wouldn't be long until Harry's friends began looking for him. He smiled softly as Ron Weasley and Hermione walked into his office. "Lemon drop?" He asked, holding out the bowl for them.

"No, thank you headmaster. We are here for…"

"Harry, yes I know. I was expecting you two sooner or later, but don't worry he is being taken care of." Dumbledore said as he set the dish down, taking a lemon drop for himself.

"What do you mean being taken care of? Is he sick? Who is taking care of him? We were just at the hospital wing and he wasn't there." Hermione said as she looked over at Ron with a worried look on her face.

"One questions at a time please. You are right. Harry isn't in the hospital wing. He is with Professor Snape, and before you ask it is not my place to tell you why…it is Harry's." Dumbledore explained before Hermione or Ron could ask why.

"What is going on?!" Ron ask a bit loudly for anyone's liking.

"Like I said that is for Harry to tell you, not me. I will tell Harry that you stopped by and you would like to see him, but that is all I can do for now." Dumbledore said calmly. "Now you two better be off or you will be late for class."

Hermione gave a small nod, sensing that something was deeply wrong. "Just tell Harry whatever is going on that we are here for him and would like to see him." She said, returning the small smile. She then grabbed Ron's arm and left.

"What's going on?" Ron ask still not understanding completely.

"I don't know, but I trust Dumbledore." Hermione said as she looked back at Dumbledore one last time before she headed to class.


	5. Time to Come Back to Reality

**Hi everyone, sorry for the late update but everything been crazy here lately. Hopefully my next chapter wont come so late but I'm not making at promises. Hope you guys enjoy :)**

 **Thank you to TheeStoryTeller for being the Beta for chapter five.**

Chapter five-Time for Dinner

The day passed slowly for Harry and Snape. Snape stayed in the living room punishing himself for the stunt that he pulled at breakfast. Harry stayed in his room, holding the shred of glass in his hands, running his thumb over the edges as he thought about Sirius.

Dumbledore stopped by around noon to see how Harry was doing and to deliver the message from Ron and Hermione. But his deed was returned with anger. Harry yelled at him, fussing for him to leave as he didn't want his friends to be around—he didn't want them to know what was going on.

Dumbledore just gave a small smile and patted Harry on the shoulder before he left, knowing that Harry needed to work though his emotions before he was willing to talk to anyone.

Dinner had just finished when Poppy showed up. "How is he doing?" She asked as she entered Snape's chambers with her bag of supplies.

"How do you think?" Snape grumbled. "He's in his room and doesn't appear to be leaving anytime soon."

"And I see you are as lovely as ever." Poppy commented as she made her way to the guest bedroom. She sat her bag down before knocking on the door. "Evening Harry, how are you doing?" When she didn't get a response, she entered, finding Harry sitting on the bed in silence.

The boy still didn't say anything as his eyes went to Snape, who was standing at the door as well. The professor looked prepared for a fight—or incase a certain someone tried to make a run for it.

"I'm sure you have been prepared about what is about to happen." Poppy said as she took out a long piece of tubing from her bag. "So, how about we get on with it then?" She brought the tubing up to Harry's face, trying to measure how much she needed.

At her movements, Harry sucked in a breath, scooting away from the school nurse.

"I'm not going to do anything, I'm just measuring." Poppy said as she tried again. "Once we're done, I will leave you in peace once more, Harry."

"No!" Harry shouted as he moved back once more. His heart started to race- his palms became sweaty. He found himself unable to take his eyes off the tubbing that poppy had in her hands.

"Harry…" Snape said as he took a step forward.

"I told you not to call me that!" Harry snapped as he shot up from the bed. His eyes may have been focused on Madam Pomfrey, but that didn't stop him from rounding on Snape.

"Remember what I told you?" Snape ask as he took another step forward and grabbed Harry by the arm.

"Severus…" Poppy warned but it was too late.

"LET GO OF ME!" Harry screamed, flailing his legs and arms every which way, doing his best to keep Madam Pomfrey and Snape at a distance. He successfully hit Snape in the nose with his elbow as he swung his arm back.

Snape let out a scream as he fell to the floor, bringing his hands up to his nose as he felt the blood dripping down his face and onto his robes. Snape let out a huff as he stood up, taking his wand out of his sleeve.

"Petrificus Totalus!" he yelled and Harry's body fell to the ground.

"Severus! That was uncalled for!" Poppy snapped as she kneeled down and checked Harry's head. She wanted to make sure he didn't hit it hard on something on his way down.

"He broke my nose." Snape mumbled though his hands. Leaving Madam Pomfrey with Harry, Snape tilted his head up and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stop the flow of blood.

"It was still uncalled for and you know it. You just got angry." Poppy said as she levitated Harry back up on the bed.

"He broke my nose." Snape said more loudly as if Poppy didn't get it.

"I don't care." Poppy snapped as she went over to her bag and pulled out a syringe and a small bottle of potion. "Why don't you wait in the living room while I tend to Harry? I'll see to your nose after I'm done." Poppy said as she filled the syringe up with the potion, walking over to Harry after she was done.

"Fine." Snape grumbled as he made his way out to the living room, leaving Poppy to do her job.

"This is just something to help you sleep dear, you feel better when you wake up" Poppy said with a small smile knowing that Harry was still able to hear and see. "You're just going to feel a small pinch." She turned Harry's arm over and rolled up his sleeve, sliding the syringe into one of his veins. "You will feel better soon." Poppy added as she pulled the syringe out, placing her thumb on the entrance wound to stop it from bleeding.

Harry laid there helpless, watching Poppy stick a syringe into his arm, knowing that he would be asleep soon. He also knew that when he woke up, food would be forcefully pumped into his stomach. He did his best to stay awake, but he could feel the spell being released into his body, causing his muscles to relax. Harry could feel his eyelids getting heavier by the second and the last thing he saw was Madam Pomfrey leaning over him. And then everything went black.

…

"Let me see." Poppy said as she made her way over to Snape, removing his hands from his nose and tilting his head back. "You're over reacting, it's not that bad. Hold still."

She took out her wand and pointed it at Snape nose. "One…two…Episkey."

"Dammit!" Snape yelled as he brought his hands up to his nose once more.

"Honestly, you are one of the worst people I know when it comes to being injured." Poppy said as she went into the kitchen and opened the freezer, taking out an ice pack. "This will help with the bruising." She placed the ice pack on his nose, waiting for him to take it for himself.

"You try having your nose broken and see how you react." Snape grumbled as he took the ice pack from Poppy. "How's Harry?"

"He's sleeping…in restraints. If I know Harry, he'll pull that feeding tube out, and I rather not go through everything again." The witch said with a frown. "But it's necessary if we want his body to keep going until we are able to get him to eat."

"…I'm afraid that I may have messed that up for us." Snape said as he sat down on the couch keeping the ice pack tightly pressed against the bridge of his nose.

"What do you mean?" Poppy asked as she took a seat across from Snape.

Snape let out a long breath before he started to explain things to Poppy. "This morning I made Harry breakfast and he was going to eat it… that was until he tasted that nutrient potion that I mixed in with his food." Snape said with a sigh. "It was stupid, I know. I didn't even give the boy a chance and now I doubt he will take anything I give him." He removed the ice pack from his nose, meeting eyes with the witch across from him.

"…I'm not going to pretend to know why Dumbledore is allowing Harry to stay here but it's clear that he believes that you can help Harry. If this is going to work between you and Harry, you two are going to need to trust each other and that doesn't come easy, especially when you pull stunts like that. Show the boy that you aren't the greasy dungeon bat that everyone knows you to be. Play a game of wizard chess with him sometime, talk about Quidditch. Show him that you are a nice guy that I know you are." Poppy said with a small smile.

"…Thanks." Snape said returning the smile as he placed the ice pack back on his nose.

"Anytime. Just call if you need anything, day or night. Now you rest, I'll show myself out." Poppy said as she got up and left Snape to think about what she just told him and how he could make it right with Harry.

…

Harry didn't know how much time has passed since he was put to sleep. All he knew was that he woke up in a dark room with the light of the moon shining though his window. He could feel the pit in his stomach sink deeper as the realization grew. The realization of what Poppy and Snape had done while he was sleeping.

Harry jerked his head to one side only, feeling the tube taped onto his cheek and tucked behind his ear. Harry slowly followed the tubing with his eyes, following it all the way up to where a bag hung on the wall, but it was too dark in the room for Harry to see what was in the bag.

He started to panic, his first instinct to remove the tube. But his panic grew once he realized he was restrained to the bed, unable to bend his arm far enough to reach his face—or any other part of his body.

The tears began to slide down his face. His breathing was short as he was unable to get enough air to his lungs. It felt like Hagrid was sitting on his chest, and no matter how hard Harry tried, he couldn't get any air in. But he didn't give up, jerking his head side to side in an effort to dislodge the tube from his nose.

…

Snape let out a moan when he heard the alarms that he placed on Harry go off. He was starting to regret placing them on the boy, but nonetheless he pulled off the ice pack and got up from his bed. He made his way out of his room, pulling on his dressing down in the same movement. When he made it to Harry's room, he was less than startled to see the child having a panic attack.

"Alright, come on." Snape said with a sigh as he made his way over to Harry, pulling him by his arms so the boy was sitting up.

"I…need…it…out." Harry said in between gulps of air as he continued to fight the restraints that was wrapped around his elbows.

"You need to calm down." Snape said as he made his way behind Harry, wrapping one of his arms around his chest and arms while the other rubbed circles on his back.

"…Can't…bre…th" Harry said as he continued to fight for air.

"If you can talk you can breathe, you just need to slow it down, come on. In…and-out, in…and-out, just follow my breathing." Snape said as he kept a strong arm around Harry.

"…nonono…nonono" Harry moaned as he tried to get out of Snape's hold but Snape held Harry still as he kept rubbing circles on his back, keeping a steady pace.

"Just take in some deep breaths." Snape said, but he quickly realized that Harry wasn't going to listen, still struggling in his hold. "Tell me the ingredients for the potion that cure boils." Snape finally ordered.

"…"

"Potter answer the question, what are the ingredients for cure for boils?" Snape asked again when he didn't get an answer the first time.

Harry took in a few gulps of air before he started to talk. " …D…D…Dried…nettles…snake fangs…hu…horned slugs, porcupine quills, pungous onions, flobberworms mucus, Ginger root and shrake spines." Harry named off the ingredients. And as he said each one, his breathing calmed to an even pace.

"Good. Now, what's in pepper-up potion?" Snape ask seeing that Harry breathing was becoming more slower.

"…Octopus powder, bicorn horn and mandrake root." Harry said not stopping for any gulps of air this time.

"Very good, what are the side effects for taking it?" Snape asked.

"Umm…it can cause steam to come out of the drinker's ears for a few hours.

"That's good, you're breathing is a lot better. If I gave you something to help you calm down would you take it?" Snape asked, hoping that Harry would accept it. It was a long few moments before Snape got a small nod from Harry.

"Alright." Snape said calmly as he summoned the Potion into the room and took the cork out before he brought it up to Harrys mouth, knowing that Harry was unable to do it himself.

Harry took the potion in one gulp his face going red from the embarrassment that his professor had to feed him.

"I wanted to say that I am sorry." Snape said as he set the potion bottle down on the bedside table. "About this morning, about sneaking a potion in your food and not telling you." Snape said as he felt Harry relax in his arms.

"If this is going to work between us we are going to need to trust one another and I know that doesn't come easy for ether of us so I promise I won't give you anything you don't know about first and I will also try my best not to snap at you or lose my temper."

"What about spells?" Harry ask his words slowing into one another.

Severus gave a small nod knowing what Harry was talking about. "And I also promise not to use any spells on you without your permission."

"And the tube?" Harry ask as he sucked in a shaky breath.

"I'm afraid I can't do anything about that at the moment…you weigh seventy-nine pounds, do you know how much you should weigh?" Snape asked knowing that he wouldn't get an answer from Harry. "Someone like you should be at one hundred and twenty pounds." Snape could feel Harry stiffen at the number. "I know that it will be hard for you, that is why we are going to take it nice and slow, at a pace you are comfortable with-together. That's why we need to trust each other. And if this is going to work and I think we should start by using our first names, I call you Harry and you can call me Severus, how does that sound?"

"… A…Alright" Harry said after a bit.

"Alright." Snape said relived that Harry was agreeing. "We will talk more tomorrow, but for now you need to go back to sleep, alright?" Snape asked keeping his voice even.

"Sounds good…" Harry mumbled.

"Alright. I'm just going to move out form behind you then." Snape said as he slowly got up from behind Harry. "I'm just going to be in the next room over if you need anything," Snape said as he made his way to the door.

"K…" Harry mumbled as he rolled onto his side and he closed his eyes. He listened to Snape leave and walk down the hall to his own room. He wrapped his arm around himself, pushing his thumb into his stomach, underneath his ribs. He couldn't help but worry about what was going to happen when he wakes up in the morning but he had to admit he did feel better about his professor for the time being.


	6. The Truth can be Hard

**Thank you to TheeStoryTeller for being the Beta for chapter six.**

Chapter six-The Truth can be Hard

Harry jerked awake, finding his professor beside his bed - unhooking the feeding tube from the bag on the wall. He tried to move his hands up to rub the sleep from his eyes only to find that his arms were still restrained. His mind went back to last night. When he had a panic attack and Snape helped him through it. He couldn't help but feel confused over his feeling for Snape. He was supposed to hate him but now he was turning out to be a nice guy. He didn't know what he was supposed to feel anymore.

"…What time is it?" Harry asked groggily as he was still coming out of his slumber.

"Ten thirty in the morning but you need your sleep." Snape said as he sat Harry up and placed the end of the feeding tube behind his shirt so it didn't get in the way during the day.

Harry allowed it to happened still being half asleep. Harry was never a morning person - not even when he was little. His aunt always had to bang on his cupboard door three to five times until he got out of bed and even then, he was still slow getting breakfast ready for the family. It was only recently he was getting up early to go jogging. But today he was moving slowly—he felt like he had no energy left in his body.

"Come on, we have a lot to do today." Snape said as he pulled the blankets back. It didn't take him long to notice that Harry wasn't really with him at the moment.

"What are we going to do?" Harry mumbled, his eyes still being closed as he swung his legs over the bed and stood up.

"We need to talk about a few things but right now we are going to the bathroom." Snape said as he led Harry out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom.

Harry's energy came at full attention at the mention of the bathroom. Even more to the fact that Snape said "we", implying that they both were going.

"I can go to the bathroom myself." Harry said nervously, his muscles tensing as Snape began to lead him.

"Fascinating." Snape said as he turned Harry to the right and entered the bathroom. "We are going to start our mornings off with a routine just like St. Mungo's does. At St. Mungo's, you are weighed ever morning before breakfast." The professor explained.

Harry turned into the bathroom and froze when he saw a medical looking scale in the bathroom. His heart started to pound in his chest at the thought of getting on that scale. Harry never used a scale. He couldn't bring himself to. As long as he could fit his thumb and pointer finger around his arm he was good - there was no need to look at the numbers.

"Remember we talked about trusting each other last night?" Snape asked as he kneeled down in front of Harry.

"Ah…ya" Harry mumbled as he was pulled out of his thoughts by Snape.

"I'm going to take off these restraints and I'm trusting you to leave the tube in, no pulling it out or Madam Pomfrey is going to have my head." Snape said as he undid the restraints and slid them off of Harry's arms.

Harry was glad that he was able to bend his arms once more but it took everything in him not to reach up and yank the tube out. The only relief he got was knowing that it wasn't hooked up to anything anymore.

"Take your sweater off and step on the scale please, backwards." Snape said as he allowed Harry to take his time.

"Why can't you just use magic?" Harry asked as he looked up at Snape. He enjoyed that the hood of his sweat shirt allowed him to hide and now that he was forced to have the tube - he wanted it more than ever.

"Magic isn't always precise. You'll get it back after we are done." Snape explained.

Harry just gave a small nod as he unzipped his hoodie and slid it off, placing it on the sink. His bones stuck out of the thin and oversized pyjamas he was wearing. He wrapped his arms around his small frame, turning around and carefully stepping onto the scale. His mind was going over a hundred miles an hour, his thoughts focused on the numbers that appeared on the scale. It wasn't long until he was allowed to step back down and put his hoodie back on. Harry immediately zipped it up to his neck and flipped the hood up.

Snape kept the number in his head so he could write it down later. He knew he had to keep track of Harry's process. He led Harry out of the bathroom and through the hall until they got to the crossroad between kitchen and living room.

"You want some breakfast?" Snape asked deciding not to force the boy to eat this morning. But it seemed the question was too much—Harry had broken into tears.

Just like that everything became too much for Harry, the burning tears falling down his face. He didn't realize he was being led to the couch. He brought his hands to his face, fighting the many urges inside him. He wanted to pull the damn tube out, but he knew it wouldn't make a difference. Madam Pomfrey would only have it replaced and he would be back in restraints. Part of him didn't care, but another part of him didn't want to break the trust Professor Snape had in him.

"Harry, focus on this." Snape said as he lowered Harry's hands and placed a small rubber stress ball in his hands. He then went to sit across from him.

"Can you tell me what's got you so upset?" He asked, already knowing most of it but he wanted to see if Harry would talk to him.

"… Everything…" Harry cried as his hand squeezed the stress ball.

"Can you be more specific for me, Harry?" Snape asked calmly, keeping an eye on where Harry hands were - making sure they didn't shoot up to pull at the tube.

It took a few moments before Harry started to talk and explain what was going on in his head.

"…That I didn't get to do my morning run or do my exercises before I went to sleep…Not knowing how many calories I was given last night and I don't have a way to get rid of it… and you're still making me eat breakfast…" Harry cried as he wrapped his arm around his stomach, squeezing the ball harder in his hand.

Snape gave a nod, happy that Harry trusted him enough to share what was going through his mind. "Harry, I'm not making you eat breakfast. I just asked if you wanted some, that's all." He explained keeping the same level of calmness to his voice.

Harry gave a small nod as he brought his other hand up to whip away his tears. "…How…how many calories was I given last night?" Harry ask as a few sniffles escaped him.

"I'm not telling you that Harry, I'm sorry."

"Five hundred? One thousand? …Two?" Harry asked as more tears rolled down his face at the thought.

"Harry, there is a reason why I'm not telling you. Focus on the ball, that's why I gave it to you. So you wouldn't focus on anything else." Snape said. He knew that it wouldn't take Harry's mind off of it completely, but he hoped that it would help him a little.

Harry stared at him, as if he wanted to ask another question about calories or how much he was given last night. But instead, the boy gave Snape a small nod and began to squeeze the stress ball, allowing the last of his sniffles escape.

"I'm going to give you a moment to calm down while I go and get a cup of tea." Snape said as he got up from his seat and headed to the kitchen.

Harry didn't say anything as he continued to squeeze the stress ball, doing his best to think of anything else besides the heaviness that he felt in his stomach.

…

It wasn't long until Snape came back with his tea as well as a glass of water for Harry. "Here," Snape said as he handed Harry the water. "There's nothing in it, you'll be able to taste it if there was." Snape added as he saw Harry hesitate before taking the glass.

Harry took the glass, taking a small sip of water. He was relieved when the water…tasted like water. "Thanks." He mumbled as he set the glass down on the coffee table. He then lifted his feet up on the couch and leaned himself against the cushion.

Snape gave a nod as he sat back in his chair across from Harry, setting his tea on the side table. He then handed Harry a piece of paper.

"What's this?" Harry ask as he took the paper from Snape.

"The scan that Madam Pomfrey took. I thought that we should go over it." Snape said as he picked up his own copy of the scan. "So you can understand what's going on. I'm hoping it will give you some sort of reality check."

"…Alright." Harry said after a bit of hesitation. After everything that had happened so far, the last thing he needed was a reality check.

"Let's start with something easy…throat swelling." Snape said, reading off the paper. "Do you know why?" He asked as he looked up at Harry.

Harry looked down not wanting to meet Snape eyes. He squeezed the stress ball, watching it refill once he released his grip. "…Be…Because I have been throwing up." Harry mumbled.

"You also have tooth decay which is also from you throwing up. That's from the stomach acid." Snape said making sure that Harry wasn't getting overwhelmed.

"…I always make sure I wash my mouth out after." Harry mumbled.

Snape just shook his head. "Water not going to get rid of stomach acid. It gets stuck to your teeth. You throwing up is also the reason you have scared fingers. When you shove your fingers down your throat you end up biting them." Snape explained, pausing for a bit before he moved on. "Let's move on to something more serious, irregular heart rhythms. Do you know you can end up having a heart attack?" Snape asked making sure to keep his voice calm. He knew that yelling at Harry wouldn't do any good. "Ruptured esophagus. Do you know what that is?" Snape ask.

Harry shook his head, not trusting himself to talk without crying.

"The esophagus is a tube that connects the mouth with the stomach and when is ruptures it allows food and fluids to leak into the chest, causing lung problems. You have been lucky so far, but this is also caused by your forceful vomiting. The next thing is intestine damage. Do you know what that is?" Snape said as he went along the list fast, wanting to get though it as soon as posable.

"… My stomach is damaged?" Harry said in a small and weak voice, bringing his sleeve up to whip away his tears that had fallen.

"Nerve damage. It prevents the intestines from absorbing water and food, which in turn makes your body unable to get the nutrients that it needs. Along with this you are suffering from an

intolerance to cold, low blood pressure, abnormal blood counts, dizziness, thinning hair and brittle nails. Your body is slowly shutting down and it's just going to get worse."

Harry wiped his eyes again, taking in all of the information Snape was explaining to him. The boy knew his condition was bad, but he didn't know it was _this_ bad. Some of the conditions on the paper Harry had never heard of before.

"I know it's not easy to hear, but you need to know what you are doing to yourself. This is also why I'm not allowing glamours. No more hiding away from the truth…because the truth isn't hiding from you. There is also something else I wanted to talk about. "Snape added.

"What's that?" Harry ask in a shaky voice.

"You aren't allowed to do magic outside of school, meaning that all of these…side effects…should have been visible to the ones around you. Is there a reason why your aunt and uncle didn't do anything?" Snape asked, hoping that there was a good reason for Harry's relatives not being involved in this situation.

"…They don't care what I look like as long as I can get my chores done and cook dinner. They were actually kind happy that they didn't have to waste as much food on me anymore. Before I get on the train to Hogwarts, that's when I apply the glamours. That's why nobody knew…until now.

Snape gave a small nod as he thought on what Harry just told him. "Alright Harry, I want you to rest for a little while. You are welcome to go and get a book but other than that, I don't want you moving around too much. You are still weak and I don't want you to collapse."

"Alright." Harry mumbled, giving a small nod as he watched Snape leave to go into his studies, taking his cup of tea with him. He then heard glass bottles being moved around. He sat there in shock, realizing that he was completely alone. Snape trusted him that much?

Back in his study, Snape knew he was taking a chance leaving Harry alone, but he wanted to see how far this trust will go between them. He wasn't too worried—he still had the charms on Harry incase the boy tried to leave or hurt himself. But he still hoped that those charms wouldn't go off while he was working on his potions.


End file.
